The Romanian Look

The Romanian Look

One cultural difference between Romania and home that I’ve noticed in the past eight months is the way people look at each other. It is very unusual for a Romanian to look at you when you walk past. We in America would by nature look at people as we walk and if we catch their eye looking back we’d nod our head in greeting. It is not considered rude or improper. I suppose it has something to do with the American mystic of confidence. ‘I’m good enough to look anyone in the face, and if they wish to return my look, that’s fine, too.’

In Romania it is different. People avoid eye contact with strangers. To avoid eye contact they look at their feet. I believe it is out of politeness and a sense of privacy that they do this. They probably feel that I am intruding when I look at them face on; invading their privacy. Friends greet each other, just as they do anywhere else, except with more handshaking, but strangers never look at each other.

I am not sure why this is so, but perhaps it comes from living in the block apartments where you neighbors are so close by. It is sort of an unwritten guide, don’t ask, don’t tell. Perhaps it comes from the days of Communism when every third person was employed by the state to inform on his neighbors.

To give a feel for what I am speaking of we have the same sort of taboo when we are in automobiles in the United States. When forced to stop at a stop light, do you look over to the car next to you to see what that driver is doing? If they return your look, you glance away, for in our cars we demand our privacy. It is similar in Romania, but the car is not required.

I have the habit should I catch an individual accidentally making eye contact as I stroll of saying “Buna Ziua, Good Morning”. Almost invariably my saying it catches the person off guard. Most times they managed to return my well wishes, sometimes just mumbled, other times I get more than I asked for because whole sentences come out of which I can grasp very little. My language skills are very slowly getting better but only if I can anticipate in advance. It is a rare and pleasant day when someone unknown to me, says ‘good morning’ first. I hope it is as pleasant a surprise when I say it. I think not, probably making them more uneasy then anything, but I’ll continue to spread my American good cheer as best that I can.